So you’re the one in the break up who isn’t ready to move on, who feels there is something special to hold on to, and the only thing at the forefront of your mind is that you want to reunite with your ex. But for your ex, getting back together is probably the last thing on his mind.
You will need to be a bit devious for these initial steps to work but you can put them into action right away, and get a step closer to reuniting with your ex.
No More Tears – Fake it til you make it!
Make it appear that you are ready to move on. That you have no issues with the break up and that life is good even without your ex in the picture. Make it obvious to their friends and yours that you are having fun and keeping up with the important things in your life. Get together with friends and arrange outings and gatherings. It will get back to your ex that you seem to be moving on faster, and this is where the first shining star appears. It will bother him if he thinks you are moving on faster than he is or faster than he expected.
Don’t overdo it and don’t rub it in his face, and reframe from child like behavior like pretending to have another partner. This is too easy to figure out and will have the opposite effect so be careful. Don’t talk negatively about our ex to their friends or your friends, in fact, don’t mention your ex at all.
You will need to do this for a few weeks, with no phone calls to your ex, or text messages, or sending messages through your friends. Basically, no contact at all.
During this time, you may be missing your ex like crazy but there is no need to let him or his friends or family know it. Take care who you share your truths with. Make sure you can trust that they are not going to tell your ex or others, as this will then blow the whole thing and your ex will know how well you are really NOT getting along without him. Remember the specifics of your plan.
Short and Sweet without the Beef.
If your ex does make contact with you in the few weeks you are away, keep it short and sweet and leave out the details of your busy life. What you want to do is let them see you are happy, busy and going on with your life but stay away from the details of your outings, visits with friends, etc. If they ask what you have been up keep it simple. For example: say you have just been working, hanging out, doing the same old stuff.
Reframe from trying to make them jealous! This will do you in because it’s always obvious and will spoil your plan. Not giving details about your outings and personal affairs will make them wonder on a natural level – making it a natural road to some jealousy. This will be a huge positive step in reuniting with your ex because you are making yourself look like a secure, stable person, and this is a personality trait that a majority of people are drawn to.
After the Stretch Make the Connect
Once the few weeks go by, send a text message or email enquiring how things are going. Do your best to sound like an old friend who is calling up after a long time.
Adhere to the same rules as mentioned above. Make it short and sweet, with no specific details on your personal life or your outings. If you didn’t talk to your ex before then this is the time where the natural jealousy will take place so be sure to use the advice above. Keep it strictly in a friendship tone and let your ex do the talking. Your ex will value that you are interested in what they have to say, and it could be a refreshing change from the way things were when you were together.
By continuing with this pace, your ex will be in a position where he values your friendship because you are willing to listen to him, and spend time listening to him, without games. With this comes the desire and need to talk with you and be around you. Let your ex come to this conclusion on his own. A friendship will strike up so let it ride at a normal pace. Don’t push it or you will lose the ball.
So all you have to do starting now is cut the contact with your ex and fake that your normal and going on with your life, having fun with friends and tending to normal business. Don’t play games and don’t talk negatively about your ex. Let his friends and family and yours see how well you can handle rocky roads. Let a few weeks go by then make a simple, normal, friendship based connection where you talk little about yourself but let him do all the talking. A friendship will develop and it is at this point that you might find yourself being pursued and on a solid road to reunite with your ex. It will be just around the corner.
Originally posted 2009-10-18 12:46:06.







