Fake It Til You Make It – Reunite with Your Ex!

Posted in Community by admin on August 27, 2010 No Comments yet

So you’re the one in the break up who isn’t ready to move on, who feels there is something special to hold on to, and the only thing at the forefront of your mind is that you want to reunite with your ex. But for your ex, getting back together is probably the last thing on his mind.

You will need to be a bit devious for these initial steps to work but you can put them into action right away, and get a step closer to reuniting with your ex.

No More Tears – Fake it til you make it!

Make it appear that you are ready to move on.  That you have no issues with the break up and that life is good even without your ex in the picture. Make it obvious to their friends and yours that you are having fun and keeping up with the important things in your life.  Get together with friends and arrange outings and gatherings.  It will get back to your ex that you seem to be moving on faster, and this is where the first shining star appears.  It will bother him if he thinks you are moving on faster than he is  or faster than he expected.

Don’t overdo it and don’t rub it in his face, and reframe from child like behavior like pretending to have another partner.  This is too easy to figure out and will have the opposite effect so be careful.  Don’t talk negatively about our ex to their friends or your friends, in fact, don’t mention your ex at all.

You will need to do this for a few weeks, with no phone calls to your ex, or text messages, or sending messages through your friends.  Basically, no contact at all.

During this time, you may be missing your ex like crazy but there is no need to let him or his friends or family know it. Take care who you share your truths with.  Make sure you can trust that they are not going to tell your ex or others, as this will then blow the whole thing and your ex will know how well you are really NOT getting along without him. Remember the specifics of your plan.

Short and Sweet without the Beef.

If your ex does make contact with you in the few weeks you are away, keep it short and sweet and leave out the details of your busy life.  What you want to do is let them see you are happy, busy and going on with your life but stay away from the details of your outings, visits with friends, etc.  If they ask what you have been up keep it simple. For example:  say you have just been working, hanging out, doing the same old stuff.

Reframe from trying to make them jealous!  This will do you in because it’s always obvious and will spoil your plan.  Not giving details about your outings and personal affairs will make them wonder on a natural level – making it a natural road to some jealousy.  This will be a huge positive step in reuniting with your ex because you are making yourself look like a secure, stable person, and this is a personality trait that a majority of people are drawn to.

After the Stretch Make the Connect

Once the few weeks go by, send a text message or email enquiring how things are going.  Do your best to sound like an old friend who is calling up after a long time.

Adhere to the same rules as mentioned above.  Make it short and sweet, with no specific details on your personal life or your outings. If you didn’t talk to your ex before then this is the time where the natural jealousy will take place so be sure to use the advice above. Keep it strictly in a friendship tone and let your ex do the talking.  Your ex will value that you are interested in what they have to say, and it could be a refreshing change from the way things were when you were together.

By continuing with this pace, your ex will be in a position where he values your friendship because you are willing to listen to him, and spend time listening to him, without games.   With this comes the desire and need to talk with you and be around you.  Let your ex come to this conclusion on his own.  A friendship will strike up so let it ride at a normal pace. Don’t push it or you will lose the ball.

So all you have to do starting now is cut the contact with your ex and fake that your normal and going on with your life, having fun with friends and tending to normal business.  Don’t play games and don’t talk negatively about your ex.  Let his friends and family and yours see how well you can handle rocky roads.  Let a few weeks go by then make a simple, normal, friendship based connection where you talk little about yourself but let him do all the talking.  A friendship will develop and it is at this point that you might find yourself being pursued and on a solid road to reunite with your ex.  It will be just around the corner.

Originally posted 2009-10-18 12:46:06.

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Reunite Yourself With Snoopy And Friends

Posted in Community by admin on August 14, 2010 No Comments yet

Snoopy is the fictional character in Charles M. Schulzs long running comic strip Peanuts. Snoopy is a beagle and is the pet dog of the main character of the comic strip, Charlie Brown. When the strip began Snoopy was just an ordinary and normal dog. Over the years he became one of the most interesting and dynamic characters of all of them. The character of Snoopy was so well developed that today he is one of the most recognizable cartoon characters of all time.


For the first two years, Snoopy was an entirely silent character and his very first thoughts were verbalized through a thought bubble overhead. Probably the most memorable thing about the character of Snoopy is the unusual way he slept. Rather than sleeping in his doghouse in the yard, he always slept on top of it which made him less like a real dog and more like an anthropomorphic figure. This also marks the point when Snoopy began to walk on two feet as opposed to four. Snoopy was almost always with his companion Woodstock, a bird whom he befriended.


Snoopy played shortstop for Charlie Browns baseball team and was also a Beagle Scout, which was the comic strips version of an Eagle Scout. Woodstock was in the Beagle Scout troop that Snoopy was in charge of too. Snoopy had interactions with many of the Peanuts characters, including Schroeder, Sally and Peppermint Patty.


Schroeder is a character who is most well known for his ability to play a small toy piano. He had a love for classical music, but was mostly interested in the composer Beethoven. Schroeder is the catcher on Charlie Browns baseball team, but is remembered mostly for the fact that he never threw the ball back to the pitchers mound, he always walked it back. He is adored by Lucy and she spends most of time chasing after him and lying across his piano, fighting for his attention. Schroeder always rejects her advances and usually responds with a very sarcastic remark.


Sally is the younger sister of Charlie Brown and is one of the more relaxed and carefree characters of the bunch. When she is not lying around in her beanbag chair, Sally spends her time chasing after Linus, the best friend of her big brother. She is infatuated with him, but much like Lucy and Schroeder, he rejects her with sarcastic remarks.


Peppermint Patty is one of the only characters that lives across town from Charlie Brown and plays on another baseball team, against the one that Charlie Brown manages. She is widely known for being the only character to refer to Charlie Brown as Chuck and fails to understand any sort of basic concept. For instance, for a very long time she does not recognize Snoopy as being a dog and simply refers to him as the funny looking kid with the big nose. Peppermint Patty is a character and adds a unique dynamic to the Peanut gang.

Originally posted 2009-10-31 17:39:40.

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No To Reunite with Your Ex! – Save Marriage from Divorce

Posted in Community by admin on July 16, 2010 No Comments yet

Sometimes a couple knows their relationship isn’t exactly good but they choose to ignore it and carry on as though all will be well and the relationship will grow and fix itself.  Wrong! If you are having trouble in your relationship or if you know that your partner is having trouble and really isn’t happy, you need to begin preparations to secure your relationship now before you find yourself in the position of a break up, depressed, and desperate to find a way to reunite with your ex.  Don’t wait around for that one day when your partner comes to you and says, “I want out!”

Relationships do not simply grow themselves.  A real partnership between two people, with particular insight into each other, is what grows and stabilizes a relationship. Ignoring it will only cause a divide between a couple, pulling them further and further apart.

If you don’t want to find yourself in the position of trying to reunite with your ex, use these to gain ground, and begin adding value to your marriage or relationship.

Analyze Your Relationship

- Take a step back and take a good look at everything in your marriage. Ask yourself:

- Do you do things together?

- Are you friends or just acquaintances?

- Do you support one another?

- If you have kids, are you BOTH raising them?

- Do you feel you are both on separate tracks?

- Are you making an effort to be involved or do you find every possible way to escape?

Write down your thoughts and the areas you have found for improvement, and how you will make the changes.

Where can you improve?  Whatever issues you find while analyzing, start thinking about yourself first.  Look at how you can improve in those areas. If you aren’t sure how to improve or what steps to take, do some research.  Be sure to write down your findings.

Commit

Commit to your improvements. Show perseverance and vigilance.  This is also a good support measure for your partner.  When they see you so committed on a regular basis, it makes it easier for them to also commit regularly.  Let’s face it, it isn’t that you don’t care, but life has a habit of running away with us and we have to step back sometimes and re-focus our attention on the important issues that get swept under the rug.

It is important that your partner sees that you are committed to your new venture and take it seriously.  If you don’t want to find yourself in a position where are trying to reunite with your ex, make sure you commit regularly toward being a good partner.

Communicate

Have a calm, cool chat with your partner.  Tell them what you are doing and why.  Then pull out your notes and share with them the areas you have found for improvement of yourself as a partner.  Ask your partner to do this same procedure and then share notes.

Do not allow this time to turn into an argument. Do not make accusations or point fingers.  This isn’t about who is right or wrong, or who is most to blame.  It is simply about working together to build a good, strong, solid foundation.

Support and Grow Your Passions

When you first got together with your partner you each had passions.  A business, cooking, animal rights, healthy living, is some examples.  Whatever the passions were, bring them back into your life or find new ones. Bring them back together as a couple.

Show interest and be involved in each other’s passions.  Talk about them to each other and share the good, the bad, and hopes and any future ideas.  This is a great way to spend time and have fun together and forget for a while all the issues of daily life and your relationships, while at the same time you are both doing something positive, together, toward your relationship.

Supportive and a Helping Hand

Each of you chooses five things that you would like the other to help out with, such as a household chore, dropping the kids off, or picking up dry cleaning, paying bills, or grocery shopping. This allows your partner to see what it is like to do some of the chores you always do and also gives each of you a break from some of the everyday monotonous tasks.

Each of you has to lend whatever support is needed in carrying out their new five tasks.  If you know there is traffic when picking up the kids, make sure to tell your partner, or remind them if they are running late.  Give whatever details are required to carry out the task correctly and on time.  If you see them struggling with time, or not quite prepared, help them out.

This exercise gets you both supporting each other and getting used to taking direction from one another.  It can also give funny moments to laugh at. You will each get a good idea of how much effort the other one has to put into each task. So as opposed to thinking picking up the dry cleaning is not such a big deal, you might see differently when you experience for yourself the parts of the task that are a headache, or how much time they can take.

Every month make a change and select another five tasks each.

These areas will give you insight into each other’s lives and passions, and allow you to share your feelings, annoyances and worries, as well as your hopes for things you care about. Don’t be in a position where you are one day trying to reunite with your ex.  Get the ball rolling on helping your relationship now before your marriage or relationship turns into a divorce or separation.

Originally posted 2009-10-28 17:55:57.

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Online Social Networking: Reunite With Old Friends

Posted in Community by admin on June 26, 2010 1 Comment

The idea of a social network is that it is a popular way of reconnecting with friends and making new ones as well. There are many sites which invite people with similar interests to build a community and to share their thoughts and feeling with each other. A site which aims to widen the social network of an individual is able to generate traffic thereby promotes the website which leads to huge profits. Online social networking allows an individual to publish their opinions and comments on anything under the sun. Their services are free of cost and one can make optimal use of it either for professional reasons or for personal interests.

Online social networking allows one to invite friends and add them as contacts. It is not essential the friend invited is also a part or member of that service. The person who is part of the social networking will have the complete detail of the friend. People nowadays go that extra mile to make their profile appealing as well as interesting. They can either put attractive videos, pictures or backgrounds.

Socialising is a process of making conversation and getting to know one another. One can do this by asking the friend whether he knows a person who is connected to both of them. Social networking helps in building lifelong relationships and before one realises he is already an active member of a particular community. Loneliness and boredom can be defied by keeping in touch with old friends. If a person is fond of a particular sport then he or she can invite people with same kind of interest and passion. With sites promoting social network the individual can track and reunite with their school or college friends.

People can add fun element to socialising by sharing videos and photos or they can also go onto surveys. Those who are passionate about cooking can share exotic recipes with their associates. Fashion oriented individuals can update themselves with the latest trends same goes for movie maniacs, they can discuss the flops and success of the cine world with their counterparts. Another benefit of social networking is that it helps in promotion of business. One can build contacts in the business world which would open new opportunities for advancement. The interactive character of the social network prompts visitors to keep visiting the site time and again. Thus, there is no other way of putting forth your feelings, views and thoughts in front of people who want to know and meet you. This is an excellent medium of making new friends and connecting with them for life.

Originally posted 2009-10-25 08:17:10.

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Reunite with your Ex Help Guide – The Magic of Making Up

Posted in Community by admin on June 12, 2010 1 Comment

Finding help to reunite with your ex is very difficult if you have no one to turn to.  Friends and family are the best help to reunite with your ex however, if you don’t have the convenience of having them close it can get too overwhelming.

Luckily there are many ways out there that provides help to reunite with your ex.  You can find books or online postings from people who have experienced the same thing.

Breaking up is probably one of the most difficult thing to deal and cope with.  However, if you have the right guide getting over your breakup and coming out with a plan to reunite with your ex you can manage to feel hopeful and know that there is hope.

The Magic of Making Up System ebook is a resource that can provide help to reunite with your ex.  This book have helped over 6000 people that had the same experience you did.  Don’t feel alone, couples fight, breakup and eventually majority of them get back together. 

But, if you want to do it right and make the relationship last after getting back together, you will definitely would want to have this book as your personal guide.  The most fascinating about this ebook are the techniques that were never too commmon to find in any relationship guidebook out there.  You will learn how to talk to your ex and make him or her appreciate you more, techniques that can psychologically persuade him or her to get what you want and how to make them listen and understand you.

You will also learn techniques to draw your ex closer to you.  You can use this guidebook as a learning resource to help you save your relationship no matter how bad is your situation. The book will show you step by step on how to reunite with your ex and maintain the relationship successfully afterwards.

Never let your ex walk out of your life.  There is hope and definitely there is a proven guide called The Magic of Making Up you can use to ensure that you get your ex back the right way.

Do not let yourself get left out with this help to reunite with your ex.  The worst thing you can do is not do anything at all. Click Here Now!

 

Originally posted 2009-10-27 01:17:05.

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Reunite with Your Ex – Happily Ever After Disaster

Posted in Community by admin on May 12, 2010 No Comments yet

Whether you are trying to save your marriage or reunite with your ex, even if the disaster was your doing, the wreck is still salvageable, but what to do with all the broken pieces?  How do you put them back together like they were before?  You don’t!

Your wreck can be salvaged, but trying to glue the pieces back together to make the same puzzle is not going to help you in the long run. Think of it as something you did that was so outstanding and so great and when you tried to do it again, it just wasn’t the same.  When trying to put a broken partnership back together, you must start fresh, with new understandings and new values toward the relationship.

You have to be prepared to:

-Sacrifice for your relationship
-Communicate in your relationship
-Simplify in your relationship
-Be a supportive partner in your relationship

Sacrifice

If you are looking at the other person as the root of the problem, take a close look at yourself. Sometimes your partner causing all the problems is the result of problems you are causing or creating. Or, your behavior or attitude is making matters worse resulting in further agitation in your partner.

Many marriages and otherwise good relationships fall apart due to selfish actions, when one thinks what they do or who they are is what’s important.  You have to be able to forfeit parts of yourself for the strength and existence of the relationship. Live as singles or live as a couple – it’s up to you.

Communicate

When a couple has been together for a while and gets used to each other or a married couple becomes engrossed in their careers and raising kids, it is easy to keep negative feelings or problems to themselves.  It tends to be easier than having an argument or making their partner uncomfortable or sad.

It may seem unselfish at the time but the truth is you probably just don’t want to be bothered with the headache it might cause, but your headache will be in full motion when your bottled up feelings explode in your face.  It won’t be just one or two problems you are having that come out but the entire one’s you bottled up for so long. 

Don’t wait too long to communicate the issue in order to resolve it as soon as possible, so as not to add unnecessary pressure to yourself , your partner, or your relationship.

When you reunite with your ex, make this change immediately.  If you are keeping some communication with your ex, or have a friendship going on, put this into action now. 

Simplify

Don’t make things more complicated than they need to be. Couples tend to do this and most of the time it is because they care so much and want things to be perfect, always.  But that is not reality and you are only stretching yourself thin.

Assess what it is that you really need to exist in a partner.  Make it simple and don’t try and analyze details of problems too much.  Are you making too many demands?  Are you engrossed in how you think things should be? Are your expectations to high? Take a step back and look – are you making things more complicated? Why? Isn’t life already complicated enough?

Respect

Respect what your partner says, feels and wishes. Treat your partner with respect, no matter how hard it might be, keep trying until you do it without having to try so hard.  In the position of trying to reunite with your ex, if it’s truly that hard to have respect for them, you might want to ask yourself if reuniting is the right thing to do. 

Support

When you truly care about someone it isn’t all that difficult to be supportive.  But sometimes, in between the fifty million things to do in life, we become less passionate for the simple feelings people have.  When this happens in a relationship it becomes less likely that support is offered when it is needed. 

When your partner mentions how tired they are, help out with the chores or left over things to do for the night.  When your partner talks about something important to them, listen, add something to the conversation and show that you care.  If they need any help, see if there is something you can do. No matter how minute you think the incident or thought is, don’t let it show.  Instead show your partner compassion and be supportive in times of need.

It is important that a couple function as a couple and not as a single.  If one is functioning on a single level and the other is functioning on a couple’s level, this is sure to complicate matters. Fifty-fifty is simply not good enough for a solid foundation, nor is it enough for both parties to be happy and fulfilled in the relationship. 

Sacrifice, communication, simplifying, respecting and supporting are the tools to be used when you reunite with your ex to build a winning relationship. If you have not yet reunited with your ex but are friends or at least talking, put these tools into action and see the result they have in how your ex begins to feel about you all over again.

Originally posted 2009-10-28 01:16:07.

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End Break Up Nightmare – Reunite With Your Ex – It Starts Here!

Posted in Community by admin on April 22, 2010 No Comments yet

So you messed up real bad and have made your bed and have to lay in it.  But you have no intention of laying in it because you want to reunite with your ex. You want a second chance to do things better and be a better partner.  You simply want the chance to make it up to them and start over again.

Get ready to start climbing out of that bed you made for yourself and begin the reuniting process with these steps.

1.  Humility.

Depending on the severity of the mistake, don’t be too proud to beg.  If you have done something unforgivable in a relationship, be prepared to get your knees dirty, you will find yourself on them begging for forgiveness. If your mistake was a whopper then you deserve the punishment, as well as a second chance.  So ante up and take the punishment for your actions.

2.  Admit your mistake.

It’s best to come clean immediately and not wait for your partner to find out from someone else or in a way that is humiliating.  Don’t make excuses for your actions.  Don’t mix the truth with lies.  The lies will come out later leaving your ex with even more reason to keep the relationship at break up point, and leaving you unable to reunite with your ex.

3.  Take steps to start the “Changing” process.

Your ex is going to want to know that you truly have the best intentions so begin the process of changing in whatever way you need to change.  Simply saying you are going to change is not enough to reunite with your ex. You need to show your ex that you mean business in making the right the preparations to be a better partner.

Investigate to find out how you can best help yourself, your situation and your relationship. Get to work on the things you need to do. Share the process with your ex so they know you are legitimate about your efforts.  Some Examples: If you have a drug or drinking problem then seek out rehabilitation.  If you were unfaithful, find out why you went astray and seek out a reunite group or couples counseling.

4.  An Outside source.

The above three steps is the starting point of where you need to go to reunite with your ex. Where you go after this is up to you, but seeking help from an outside source is usually a positive step in the right direction.  An idea of what you should be looking for includes a simple, easy to follow plan, preferably with a down to earth approach to suit all couple types. You should look for a plan or system that is multi-functional and offers benefits such as learning to be a better partner all around, how to build a firm, fulfilling relationship and how to better understand and communicate with one another.

Couples reuniting are a common practice, the trick then becomes making sure their relationship goes on to be fulfilling and both parties are happy and feel blessed to have one another.  In wanting to reunite with your ex you are already admitting to yourself and your ex that the relationship means the world to you, and you are not ready to let it go.  So bite the bullet, put on your humility hat, and admit your mistake with all honesty.  Get your plans in order and start the “changing” process and share them with your family, friends and ex.  Seek out a program or plan to put your relationship back in gear to drive smoothly, comfortably and without rattles, to have a firm foundation laid for a better life together.

Originally posted 2009-10-26 01:16:12.

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A Skip Back in Your Step When You Reunite With Your Ex

Posted in Community by admin on March 19, 2010 No Comments yet

One minute you’re walking through life with a smile on your face and a skip in your step and the next thing you know – KURPLUNK! You fall flat on your face, with much disgrace. Your smile is gone and your skip just landed you in the singles scene.  You are now single, sad, and can’t seem to pick up the pace again.  Why? Aside from a broken heart, and the feeling that something is missing, you probably  want to reunite with your ex.  The question is- how?

There are specific “things to do” in order to reunite with your ex honestly and lovingly, keeping your image and self esteem intact.

1.  Let’s begin with the most important person in this entire nightmare, which is you.  Yes, you!

Right now I want you to smile. Don’t feel like it?  Tough!  Do it anyway and do it all the time til it begins to happen on its own. Laugh. Don’t feel like it?  Do it anyway!  Laughter is very healing and will make you feel better for a few moments.  But those moments will increase with more laughter and smiles. Your positive attitude will begin to shine through and when a person is of a positive nature their life flows on a positive road.  

-    Ideas to make you smile or laugh could be to watch a comedy movie or TV show, preferably one you haven’t seen yet.

-    If you have a friend that usually makes you laugh without trying- pay them a visit, every day if you have to.  Friends love to help out in these type situations.

Letting the people around you see your self-confidence and how you rise above will increase your chances to reunite with your ex.  It will also be a positive aspect toward your relationship when you reunite.

2.  Be clear on what went wrong in the relationship.  Get the essential issues figured out.

It’s okay to pick up the phone and a have a BRIEF chat about the relationship.  No matter how hard it may be to hear, listen quietly, and take in the information. Apologize if necessary.  Then it is your turn.  Calmly and pleasantly return the favor and discuss the things that turned you off in the relationship.  Wish your ex all the best and say goodbye.

3.  Control Your Negative Energy and Anger.

As angry as you are, control your emotions, your actions and your words.  Do not spend every waking moment cursing your ex and blaming him for everything.  This will cause you two problems.

- Negative energy brings forth negative feelings and emotions.  If you are already feeling negative you are making a bad situation worse.  Your negative energy will only grow and you will find you are on a road to bitterness and anger running your life.

- People will soon not want to be around you because you’re always so negative and angry and can’t talk about anything else except how angry you are.

- If you are constantly blaming someone else for everything that goes wrong in your life and not taking responsibility for your part of the failures, you will never learn where you need to improve and will continuously have the same problems.  We all need to make adjustments to our self and our life, and especially when it comes to relationships.

4.  Do not lower yourself to cheap, dirty tricks.

The most common ones are trying to make an ex jealous or trick him into coming back to the relationship.  Some women even go so far as to fake a pregnancy and men often fake they have a new, hot woman by their side.  No matter the antic, if it isn’t true or can cause more anger and hurt then that is the clue you should not do it.

These type antics will put false ideas in your ex’s head, which is that you have obviously moved on and in turn they will do the same.  If your ex is thinking about how to get back together with you or wondering if he made the right decision by breaking up with you, you will surely have shot yourself in the foot because he will see there is no point if you have taken up with someone else or play dirty tricks.

It is important that your ex observes you as self-assured even throughout this difficult time.  This is one of the ways you will gain momentum to reunite with your ex.

These are just the initial, yet vital steps to reunite with your ex.  You can further on from this using a solid, clear, step by step plan authored by Mr.  T (Dub) Jackson to bring the two of you back together, the skip back in your step, and leave the singles scene behind forever.

Originally posted 2009-10-25 01:16:14.

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A Reunite Delight after a Marriage Disaster

Posted in Community by admin on February 10, 2010 No Comments yet

A disastrous, catastrophic event has taken place and it has resulted in a failed marriage, single parenting, and poor finances.  Now your thinking you want to reunite with your ex.   For many couples it isn’t really one disaster that has ended their marriage, but rather the disaster was just the icing on the cake. The real issues in their marriage have been ignored or the couple has been unsuccessful at fixing what is broken in their relationship. Suddenly something terrible has happened and one or the other, or both, simply feel they can take no more, thus they opt for separation leaving a door open in case they want to reunite with their ex, or close the door permanently with divorce.

Many couples reunite even after divorce.  Some will begin dating again or just seeing each other casually.  Some stay friends, and end up getting back together later in life. Some couples, have such a hard time with the back and forth of the kids, the bickering, the sadness, the change in lifestyle for them and their kids, and raising kids as a single parent, that they find themselves wondering if the divorce was really worth it.  

Saving a marriage is quite a bit of hard work but when you think about it so is the whole divorce procedure in itself not to mention getting settled in life as a single parent, handling all the struggles with your kids alone, feeling alone, being alone, and the list goes on and on.

Here are some things for you to put into practice before you consider the hard road of divorce.

Couples Raising Kids.

Having kids, raising kids and the constant attention it all takes can have a strain on any marriage, but there is some very sound, productive advice out there about how to handle raising kids so that couples can have time for each other and themselves as individuals.

Learn the areas involving raising kids that you can start to work on as early as possible so that when they become toddlers and preschoolers they will have learned how to play independently, how not to interrupt when their parents are talking and how to say goodbye without screaming when their parents go out for a while, and how to keep your kids from requiring so much discipline.  I cannot tell you the difference these areas can make in the enjoyment of raising kids and on a marriage.  

If you choose to reunite with your ex or cancel your separation, be sure you embark on your new path using these skills toward raising kids.

Men and Women.

There is no surprise that the way men handle things and the way women handle things is usually very different. Some repress their feelings while others grieve out loud and don’t hold back. A man needs to be able to understand women to some degree and the same is true of the reverse.  Then, learn about your man, and men should learn about their woman.

The worst of times and the best of times.

It is highly advisable that a couple learns what he can expect from his partner when the bad times hit and how they will react and behave.  Learning this can help you  take care not to make things worse and also help to be prepared for what you will experience when   hard times hit.   For Example: If you know that when you and your wife argue she a tendency to get very heated up and agitated, then don’t start off the conversation with some smart-alecky comment, or immediately put her in the hot seat.  This will only fuel her more, and the conversation has only just begun.

Commit and Support.

Discuss with each that you are going to get through this together.  Be positive, own the decision you have made and know that many couples around the world are in the same position and many couples DO get through it for an even better relationship then before.

Be a team and support each other’s weaknesses.  When one of you is down the other should understand and help with whatever load there is to carry.

Cultivate your Support team.

Neither of you should go it alone.  Find good friends and family members that can help sustain you, give you encouragement, love and understanding.  They should be people who have gone through something similar, who are genuine, and not people who will discuss your personal business all around town.

Hang out, Laugh, love and just kick it.

Spend time with fun-loving people who are down to earth and can go with the flow.  

Watch comedy TV or Movies and have a good laugh.  If you laugh at different things then take turns watching each others show. Laughter is contagious so more than likely even if you are watching something that doesn’t make her laugh she will still end up laughing just because you are.  

Laughter is a good break from the burdens we all carry.  It lightens the heart and soul and creates positive brain waves.

Support.

When it comes to marriage, and especially when there are children involved, it is strongly suggested that counseling be obtained to help the couple get through the tough times and rebuild their relationship, hopefully having learned more about themselves, each other and how to be a first-rate partner.  Regardless of the type of marriage you have, or your religion, marriage counseling is a step that needs to be taken and taken seriously.

Marriage is a sacred bond between people.  Although vows are made, people are not perfect – mistakes are made and hearts are broken.   This in no way means it is necessary to end your marriage or your relationship. It is highly possible to reunite with your ex and re-build a sturdy foundation that gives both people a fulfilling relationship in which they can be proud of, and their children can feel secure that their parents will stay together.

Originally posted 2009-10-25 17:47:19.

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A Devastated Mess – Reunite with Your Ex at Your Best

Posted in Community by admin on January 11, 2010 No Comments yet

Breaking up hurts like hell and everyone knows it.  Even if you haven’t had a painful break up yet, chances are you have seen what other people go through, how they cope, or rather how they don’t cope. If you are one of those people who aren’t coping, I strongly suggest you start, especially if you are thinking to reunite with your ex. You will have a way better chance if you are at your best.  No one is going to fall for you if you are a devastated mess!

Remember This

Your ex is not going to be your last. Throughout many years you will have more.  Some you will be happy to get rid of.  Some will make your teeth curl at the idea you were ever with them, and some you simply won’t remember at all.  What you will always have throughout this life no matter where you go or who you are with – is you.  Yourself, your career, your passions, your character and your personality.

Losing yourself over a partner is going to cost you dearly now and later on.  You might end up so down in the dumps that the good things in your life pass you by because you can’t get over your ex.  Is your ex really worth losing the good things that come your way, or the opportunities you could pass up? Even if you say yes to this question, don’t worry, once you get yourself sorted there is an excellent chance to reunite with your ex if that is what you still choose  to do.

Remove Their Stuff

Whatever things your ex has left at your house either get rid of them or put them away where you can’t see it. Any reminders that can make you tear up need to be removed. Screensavers, photos, cell phone rings, knick knacks, collectibles from outings, etc

Do not call, text message or email your ex.  Don’t send messages through your friends either. Do not have any contact at all.  This puts your ex in the position to wonder what you’re up to that you are so easily away with contacting them and will give them a good chance to miss you.

Pretend

When you start the day pretend to yourself that all is well and you are feeling happy and ready to face the day head on. Force yourself to smile when you are getting dressed. Don’t call in sick to work. Wallowing around the house will make you feel worse and is the start of a behavior that can lead you down a very bumpy road.

If you have plans made for an outing – go. If you don’t then make plans with friends,  or do something that is meaningful and important to you.  Get back in touch with your passions and hobbies.  Contact old friends.

Do not talk about your ex at all.  Use your imagination and pretend he does not exist.

Ask for Help

You will need some help throughout this process and this is the time to call on friends and family for support and to help keep you busy.  But take care not to overwhelm them with constant talk, tears, and sorrows over your ex.  As much as they may care for you, your constant depressing state and constant talk about your ex gets a bit old after a while and will cause them to stop helping you, especially if you are not taking anyone’s advice and just wallowing in your depression.  At the end of the day, they can only do but so much for you – you have to help yourself as well.

If you feel you are battling depression to a point that it has begun to control your life, then you need to seek professional help immediately.  Depression is extremely common; it doesn’t take a break up or a death for a person to be depressed.  It can control of your life and it can take your life away.  Most of the time, it requires professional attention in order to get in under control.  http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm

Enhance Yourself

Look for ways to improve yourself, and the tools you need to succeed. Find something you have wanted to do or have always had an interest in and throw yourself into it.  Use your negative energy in a positive way and for a positive outcome.

Help out friends and family that might need you.  It doesn’t have to be with something major, just help out in whatever small ways you can, like helping out with the kids, running errands, helping in the kitchen, with school work or a hobby.

When a person improves themselves and reaches out to help others it’s a gift to both parties.  One party is doing a good deed and helping to make someone’s day a little easier by giving their time and energy.  This has a positive enhancement to your personality and the way you feel about yourself.  It also keeps you busy and focused on someone other than yourself, your problems, and your ex.

These four areas of self preservation in times of pain and sorrow will help you, but you have to put them into action and keep them in action until you begin to start feeling like your old self again. It won’t take as long as you think if you work at it every day and spend time with people and not alone.  Once you are back to your old self you can seek out how to reunite with your ex, because now you are out of the devastated mess, ready to move forward as yourself, and for yourself.

Originally posted 2009-10-23 09:17:19.

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